I had come to this gathering with great hope

I had played these games, met these faces

But now a weariness has begun to set in

And I want to return home, far far away.

The burden of expectation wears me down

The constant shattering of hopes pains me.

My old flaws burn like fresh, deep wounds

And a hundred new ones made every day.

I remember those good ol' days of the past,

When the silence of loneliness haunted me.

When this bustling city was a serene village.

When my universe was just my family.

In these moments of distress, I want to run

Back to those days and hide myself there.

Under the soft bedsheet of my childhood

Away from these people, this crowd.

I feel myself sinking into this cesspool,

Unable to raise my feet to walk ahead.

I want to stop resisting this drowning,

Burn out, and stop this numbing pain.

But then, I know I lack the bravado

Of ceasing this heartache once and for all.

I must move ahead, for stillness will kill.

Soldier on, ride these petulant waves.

Not because I want to move on in life,

Not because I see hope, a brighter future.

But because I have no choice, no alternative

Than to pretend as if nothing has happened.