The constant chipping sound I always hear
Long-held friendships in permanent decay.
With certainty, like the swinging pendulum
Every day becomes a lesson in drudgery.

You wonder where the dead end lies
When perhaps finally a break will appear.
But this togetherness of joy and pain
Will never break, never.

The path of truth, so full of undeserved pain.

Innocuous sacrifices become efforts in vain.

To be labelled and to have judgments passed

Has become my present; a gift from the past.

There was always something to gain, and to lose

Some to please; some whose paths were crossed.

Every pain, joy and judgement that came my way

Has become part of me; a gift from my past.

This solitude, my ever-faithful companion
Like a shadow, covering any painful trail.
My beacon in the maddening crowd
My flame in the dark moments abound.

This solitude, my leash on the wild path
Like a handcuff, chaining me in its wake.
My dark secret in the day's bright light
My music in the dance on life's edge.

This path of sacrifice is a path of fire
The feet burn, the soul is tormented.
The conscience fuels the stoicism, but
Is a redemption worth it in sight, in sight?

Shouting is the easiest way out of it,
The trail of blood not too far behind.
What makes a man a man, however,
Is to keep the pain, and die within, within.

You bring colour to every sundry moment

Like the sun, you remove the darkness of life.

The love sustains me from one day to another

It intoxicates me, makes me forget the strife.

Maybe I will falter, maybe I'll be bruised

Yet, only with this hope can I stay alive.

The unending hope to live, the hope to die,

The hope for the joy that my heart yearns for.

The disgruntled mirror brought before me

A decaying reflection of self I chose to ignore.

These outward-looking eyes were wide shut

When the several ills within me came fore.

The fiery passion overwhelmed these ills

But they grew like a malignant cancer inside.

Eating away at my humanistic core, day by day

Now, the disgruntled mirror brought them fore.

The blood drips again, rushing through

The pool of sorrow awaits every drop.

The sweet melody of life is now lost

The gong of death tolls - silence follows.

The prisoner's life goes on and on

The drudgery like steely chains, binding.

This pain, and the blood, will only stop

When the breath, forever, says goodbye.

That strange feeling, the happy-sad one

The one that feels so close, yet so damn far.

Where one moment you can feel it in the palm

And the next, you see it fly away into the sunset.

This strange feeling, this smile-tear one

Where one moment the world is full of roses.

Yet when noon moves to serene dusk to night

None knows, and none will - this strange feeling.

Hope appears on the horizon far away

My heart leaps, my feet are bound.

I don't know if this new joy will last

Which after much penance I have found.

I hope God is merciful this time

I hope I never again see this strife.

For another crushing disappointment

Might forever extinguish the flame of life.

Every time I decide not to speak again

I cannot; for the fear grows louder.

Every time I decide not to desire again

I cannot; the heart becomes restless.

Every time the deafening silence rises

I speak; has the heart ever been conquered?

Every time the past flashes before me

I desire; those moments I seek again.

When the tears have dried, and the mind is numb.

When the world is destroyed, only to be resurrected.

When hope flickers, yet the drab darkness dissipates

Into such a world, one of weary hope, I now enter.

The battle between mind and heart will continue

Perhaps the ghosts of the wars past will not die.

Hope will probably flutter like a caged bird

Awaiting its fate; the eternal dance of life and death.

The more the blood rushes out

The less this pain is biting.

It settles in a frigid pool of red

Becomes a morbidity inviting.

The senses stop feeling anything

The mind stops its unending walk.

Every object feels far, far away

And the lashing tongue can't talk.