पुकार

आज िदल िफर घबरा उठा
खोजने लगा वही चेहरे
जो एक याद बन चुके थे
जो िज़दगी छोड़ चुके थे ।

सब छोड़ के लौटना तो चाहा
लेिकन िफर याद आया िक
बहुत आगे आ चुके है हम
उनसे दूर जा चुके है हम ।

आज न है वह शीतल स्पर्श
न रही वह मीठी टकरार।
रह गई बस यादें कई
और यह नम आँखे ।

The Quiet River

On this quiet riverside I sit; wishing
That my life was different; hoping
That there was someone to save me
To give me warmth on a cold night.

As the river moves on a path well known,
I yearn for someone to hold my hand.
Someone to save me from the biting cold
Someone to touch me, and save my soul.

Someone to fight for me, cry for me
Laugh with me, get pointlessly angry at me.
Someone for whom I could leave the world
Someone who would make me forget.

My heart bleeds, the cuts are deep.
But perhaps this punishment is just.
Perhaps it's the best - for you and me
Perhaps ... Perhaps I still love you.

This silence makes me hear
The blood flowing in my veins,
The air, in and out of my lungs,
Even the motion of my hands.

On one hand, I feel trepidation.
Fear of not having anyone around.
Fear of passing days in solitude,
Fear of  letting things die within.

And then I think, what is this for?
Were people mere distractions?
Was this a stage; a hobby to kill time?
Why do I fear being with myself?

I have no answers as I think today.
One day, perhaps, I shall have them.
I want to live life free of fears,
To be alone is the biggest of them.

A broken glass; broken man inside
His skin sagging from years of toil
A frown, due to life's difficult ride
Waiting blithely for the next tide.

A tide to wash away memories,
Another to drag him into the sea.
Where death awaits with open arms
Where depth hides its charms.

Today, the man is dying with hope
Waiting, patiently, for an absolution.
An absolution that is to never come
For the heart isn't yet quite ready.

Not quite ready to move on,
Not ready to forget that moment.
That moment of blood, of pain
Sticks today, an permanent stain.

This silence, it returns, it haunts.
It reflects on the pool of the past.
It travels the hollows of promises,
The shallows of trust, of love.

This silence, my friend of past, today
I stare blankly at its new familiarity.
What had once left me, returns today
A familiar pain emerges in the heart.

The inescapable tragedy of love
Now playing in the theatre of absurd.
Then, there was the shade of dark death
Today I am naked in the snide sun.

I walk away, knowing that you're waiting.
And it probably hurts me more than you.
But my sacrifice today will open the gates
For joys for you; perhaps for me too.

I accept walking in the shadows today,
So that you and only you get the limelight.
I accept being an old, fading star today,
So that your starry journey makes a start.

How much blood my veins carry I don't know,
Don't  know when the dam of patience will break.
I live today, I die, eat, love, hate, pray today.
Tomorrow's sun I despise; it's promises I don't take.

Several miles are yet to be walked,
Several journeys yet to be undertaken.
Several sunsets are yet to be seen,
And several nights of waiting for sunrise.

Several dreams yet to be sewn together
From the shattered pieces of the past.
Several tears and smiles, several moments
Are yet to be lived, yet to be breathed.

Several hearts are yet to be mended,
Several bonds are yet to be formed.
Several victories are yet to be discovered
From the giant waves of challenges.

Several stories are yet to be made, told
Several dreams yet to be fulfilled.
Such that in the distant past, you sit,
Look back and say it was a life well lived.

The eyes that don't want to meet,

The hearts that don't say sorry.

The ego that is too big to bend

The lips sealed by years of hurt.

Something has to fall, has to give in.

First the citadels of ego, perhaps.

Then maybe the screens of the past.

Only then, finally, can hope be born.

The hope that will fill colour again.

The hope that will make life bearable.

The hope that promises joys galore,

The hope that will make a happy end.

When the muck of dashed ambitions

Makes the unending walk of life tough.

When the see-saw of joys and failures

Makes the head rest heavily on the body.

When the going gets tough and hopeless

When the remaining path seems so long.

Then stop; stop this internal warfare

Stop this race, this roller-coaster of life.

Let the mind step back and breathe easy.

Let it re calibrate, let it be in judgement

Of what is important, what it likes

And of what was done only for the 'race'.

Hold back, this violent stream of ambitions

Harness the energy of this blithe restlessness.

And then one day, when the time is right

Let go, in majestic fashion, this energy.

The great storm came that dark night
A giant specter enveloping the sky.
I stared emptily, no fear or anguish
The pain, however, made me cry.

Today, as the storm is well past me,
As my ship sails at melancholy pace,
I look back at the lessons I learnt
At what I lost, what ahead I take.

The storm robbed me of my heart
Of my soul the essence it stole.
The storm gave me a steely resolve
It set me on an irreversible goal.

The storm stripped me naked.
My dignity, my shelter it took away.
The storm freed me from fear
With me this fearlessness shall stay.

My words to me now seem hollow,
Without love, they have no rhyme.
But the hope and the swagger is back,
And with it, I move ahead onward.