I walk away, knowing that you're waiting.
And it probably hurts me more than you.
But my sacrifice today will open the gates
For joys for you; perhaps for me too.

I accept walking in the shadows today,
So that you and only you get the limelight.
I accept being an old, fading star today,
So that your starry journey makes a start.

How much blood my veins carry I don't know,
Don't  know when the dam of patience will break.
I live today, I die, eat, love, hate, pray today.
Tomorrow's sun I despise; it's promises I don't take.

Several miles are yet to be walked,
Several journeys yet to be undertaken.
Several sunsets are yet to be seen,
And several nights of waiting for sunrise.

Several dreams yet to be sewn together
From the shattered pieces of the past.
Several tears and smiles, several moments
Are yet to be lived, yet to be breathed.

Several hearts are yet to be mended,
Several bonds are yet to be formed.
Several victories are yet to be discovered
From the giant waves of challenges.

Several stories are yet to be made, told
Several dreams yet to be fulfilled.
Such that in the distant past, you sit,
Look back and say it was a life well lived.

The eyes that don't want to meet,

The hearts that don't say sorry.

The ego that is too big to bend

The lips sealed by years of hurt.

Something has to fall, has to give in.

First the citadels of ego, perhaps.

Then maybe the screens of the past.

Only then, finally, can hope be born.

The hope that will fill colour again.

The hope that will make life bearable.

The hope that promises joys galore,

The hope that will make a happy end.

When the muck of dashed ambitions

Makes the unending walk of life tough.

When the see-saw of joys and failures

Makes the head rest heavily on the body.

When the going gets tough and hopeless

When the remaining path seems so long.

Then stop; stop this internal warfare

Stop this race, this roller-coaster of life.

Let the mind step back and breathe easy.

Let it re calibrate, let it be in judgement

Of what is important, what it likes

And of what was done only for the 'race'.

Hold back, this violent stream of ambitions

Harness the energy of this blithe restlessness.

And then one day, when the time is right

Let go, in majestic fashion, this energy.

The great storm came that dark night
A giant specter enveloping the sky.
I stared emptily, no fear or anguish
The pain, however, made me cry.

Today, as the storm is well past me,
As my ship sails at melancholy pace,
I look back at the lessons I learnt
At what I lost, what ahead I take.

The storm robbed me of my heart
Of my soul the essence it stole.
The storm gave me a steely resolve
It set me on an irreversible goal.

The storm stripped me naked.
My dignity, my shelter it took away.
The storm freed me from fear
With me this fearlessness shall stay.

My words to me now seem hollow,
Without love, they have no rhyme.
But the hope and the swagger is back,
And with it, I move ahead onward.

The life, the blood, the endless stream of love.
What else did I have, what else could I give.
With the farmer's hand, hardened with toil
I planted this land, once fertile, now barren.

The question 'what if' still torments me.
And a part looks back, into the past bygone.
Yet, one part races right ahead, it says
No more; no more could I have given.

No more a life to be judged, persecuted.
No more a life lived in shame, in fear.
No more anger, no more love, joy;
No more will these eyes carry tears.

The beginning, those tentative steps.
Then came the dance and the flourish.
And yet, when the dust finally settled
It was back to the beginning.

There was a judge, a jury and a trial
Yet no words said, a judgement passed.
There were memories galore, and yet
It was back to the beginning.

The good done, interred with the bones
The bad, bleeding wounds on the mind.
There was celebration, of love, and yet
It was back to the beginning.

The future today, as lonely as years ago
The heart an empty ground of bloodshed.
And yet, a tiny seed of hope emerged
Perhaps it is a new beginning.

The sins of the past washed by tears,
The start line has been redrawn again.
With the pain in my heart I will run
Perhaps it is a new beginning.

Tall promises, now belittled by time
Firm faith, now shaken by doubt.
The words, they now ring hollow.
From a cauldron so full, so shallow.

From dust to dust, then further on
I move, drag my feet, plunge, fall.
I hurt, I cry; but life doesn't stop.
Then I awaken, to a new 'morrow.

That palace of illusions, of dreams I built
With own hands. Nurtured, strengthened.
With sweat, watered. With love, adorned.
Gave it everything I could ever give, ever.

Yet that very palace, I later discovered.
Was sunny in day, but very dark at night.
The protection I had once hoped for
Was unfortunately never there, never.

Then one day when the storm came,
It took that palace of illusions too.
The palace I had spend my lifetime for
Was nowhere in sight, gone forever.

Then one day, as I sat down to cry
I realised, what I should have long back.
That palaces are fickle, have no heart.
That palaces decay, they always rot.

I realised that love has no home,
It has to stand naked in the rain.
It has to get burnt in the sunny day
And yet, it can never die, never.

This blood on my hands, doesn't go away.
The sins of acts past linger in hazy memories.
The pure water of deeds done good today,
Bloodied by a single drop of blood of history.

In the blithe joy back in those old days,
Didn't know a cut would grow into a wound.
Didn't realise that minds would be so fickle
Didn't know under the currents lay still waters.

Till I scrapped the surface and discovered
That the past was still alive, still breathing.
That the albatross was still around my neck
That the hearts, after all, were still bleeding.