I see a turn in the road, only a few miles ahead

I wish to run towards it, but must walk slowly.

I don't know which adventure the turn leads to,

But at least it will end my current suffering.

I hope the journey will have the everyday joys

That I have desired, unsuccessfully, for years.

I hope it makes me stop looking back wistfully

At a past that's long escaped my wrinkled hands.

And while I know that this burden of hopes

Could weigh down the future that's to come.

I cannot stop myself from wishing this river

After all its twists and turns, finds the ocean.

I look back and I see a quaint little house

With the warm glow of a live well lived.

It calls out to me hauntingly, and with love

Inviting me to comfort; to familiarity.

The path ahead, in contrast, is uncharted

Cold and uninviting, like a complete stranger.

My feet move forward, as if under a spell

But the heart, free, looks back at the house.

This is, after all, the ceaseless journey of life.

Of beautiful endings, and uncertain beginnings.

Knowing that the end was written into the start,

And yet foolishly hoping it continues forever.

After years of running away from the past

Countless nights worrying about the future.

Today I finally found my peaceful place

In the warm glory of your radiant smile.

My heart, stunned by the blows life struck

Had forgotten how to gently float in joy.

Till the glistening twinkle in your eyes

Radiated like electricity through my body.

For once, neither shame nor fear haunt me

I feel like I have achieved the pinnacle again.

Perhaps this wandering soul, after a decade

Has finally reached the destination it sought.

As I take these tentative steps towards you;
The burden of the past weighs heavily on me.
The scars of battles past; memories of heartbreak
Make me wonder if this journey I can undertake.

You paint for us a picture of clear blue skies;
But the grey clouds of my pessimism hold sway.
Your love flows like streams of unbridled joy,
And yet, my caution might lead them astray.

How do I reduce myself to nothingness,
So that I may love you completely, blithely?
In knowing nothing but your love for me,
Perhaps I will find myself worthy.

As the clock races ahead, unabated
The decision draws closer, unresolved.
A moment of reckoning set in time
A choice to be made for the rest of life.

And yet, I don't move; incapacitated
And overwhelmed by the choices I face.
No right-or-wrong, heart-or-brain,
Just two paths I don't know well enough.

Perhaps this is what leadership will be
A struggle between hope and despair.
Every day an unexplored path to tread
Every decision a break from the past.

From this familiar feeling of doubt
I must make myself fearless, immune.
Perhaps find the star that guides me
As I navigate the path I seek to create.

These masks that I carry with myself
And put on when the situation demands.
The happy one, the serious one, the sad one
The one with energy, the one that's grim.

So accustomed to juggling these masks
That what lies underneath has been forgotten.
The dreams of my blithe self from the past
Now looks like a distant memory.

Maybe somewhere out there lies redemption
Maybe I need to be brave and break free.
Or maybe I need to learn to juggle these masks
Each a vestige of a time that's shaped me.

We've come a long way, haven't we?
Through roads we had never imagined.
Our souls have been dismembered, mutilated
But we stayed the course, united.

We fought with all we had, against demons
Against demons who knew a lot about us
About our imperfections, our insecurities
Our inability to be who we claimed to be.

And yet, these imperfections are what I love
They have made me come closer to you.
Made me realise that, after all, we are
Two souls, imperfect, building a life together.

The yesterday, the today, will both melt
And will forge the contours of the tomorrow.
A tomorrow unknown, very mysterious
That hides in its cloak the secrets of joy.

My fearful heart seeks those secrets,
But the gentle past has only advice to give.
Fear not, it says, as you ride these waves
They are the friends that got you here.

In the colours of your rainbow,
I lost the colours of my being.
In the shifting sands of your time,
I lost grains I had picked up.

When you flow by my side,
I erode, and become one with you.
The silence of my existence,
Lost in the cacophony of motion.

With me you play hide-and-seek
And yet guide me when I'm lost.
Your stillness is like a deep mirror
Taking me to my forgotten past.

You're always there, and yet never.
When you I seek, you disappear.
I waited for union with you, but
Only to realise we never parted.

The dust raised by the falling tree 

Once had me blinded, helpless 

My cries were buried by the noise 

Of the earth shaking under its weight. 

Today, it feels like a burden has lifted 

And my soul, once again, takes flight

Into hopes that seemed impossible 

Into dreams that once seemed dead. 

There is still remorse, of course, 

This moment has passed into oblivion. 

But my being feels re-assured that

This heart hasn't lost the ability to feel.

Love is pain, and pain is love,

And love is also the light of day. 

And therefore i must live it, love it, 

For as long as in this world I'll stay.

I am your reflection, in the waters of time.

Every part of me shaped by what we were.

A slave of the past, of your memories,

Perhaps chained forever by your reflection?

Your reflection infinite like the sky

It expands, and I forever expand with it.

From hell to heaven, ocean to sun,

The entire creation is in its play.

And therefore you have set me free,

From the bondage of my mortality.

Today my back faces you, my love

I am, however, only your reflection.

Where do these streets take me? 

Once brimming with hope, 

They now brood. 

Once running into the future, 

They now look back. 

Into the darkest corners of me

Into what I don't want to see 

Into who I don't want to be. 

These streets might consume me. 

Once harbinger of change,

Now more of the same. 

Once a glorious new dream, 

Now a sleepless night. 

A night of painful introspection. 

A night of solitary confinement. 

A night of desperation. 

But I wait, now, patiently, 

For an absolution that always came. 

I wait for change to being me out. 

But there lurks a fear deep within 

What if it doesn't arrive this time?

I wish I could hold on forever

To this moment, this beautiful one. 

I wish this song would keep playing

Hope this melody never echoes empty. 

But this too shall pass, like all else

This me, here today, will die soon. 

This fleeting nature will wear me out 

My memories, my joys, my sorrows. 

For this fleeting moment, let me cheer

To life, to rebirth and to rejuvenation.

Maybe plant a little sapling today 

That may give shade to my future self. 

Neither time not distance, it seems 

Can keep my thoughts chained. 

Like a gushing stream of pristine water, 

The memories makes their presence felt.

Blatant, like an unforgettable image;

And even when the eyes may be closed

The sound of water hitting the rocks 

Takes me back to a tumultuous time. 

These voices will never go away, fade 

Hence I must buy my peace with them.

Live a life so beautiful, a daring adventure

That the sounds unite in a singular melody.

This separation, this walk through wilderness
It may be making me sad, tearing my soul.
But somewhere deep within me, a voice says
That this is the best path, for you and for me.

For I fear that the baggage of my past,
Is too heavy even for the both of us to carry.
I fear that I may make you unhappy,
Unless I get rid of this baggage of the past.

I fear that coming close to you too soon
May make me reckless, restless, blind
Like a gushing river meeting a brick wall
I may break; my broken heart can't afford.

Even as the darkness of my past returns
I am determined to not let it defeat me.
For the dream my eyes see, my heart lives
The dream where we are together, happy.

Sometimes, in this long dark walk alone
I look for your hand; wait for your voice
My heart sinks when there is none,
And I stop for a while to let the tears dry.

But then I pick myself up and trudge along
Towards that uncertain future, that date
It is only hope that keeps me going now
A hope, I hope, that you share with me.

Welcome home, my long lost friend.
It feels awkward, this reunion.
I had forgotten your touch, your feel.
And yet something intense now burns within.

The haunting memory of the past, perhaps?
Of how we fell from grace, together
And how our ways parted since,
Till I had almost forgotten that you existed.

But now you stand here before me,
A grim reminder of my follies,
And I do not know what to do,
How to lessen this heartburn you cause.

I cannot let you enter my house,
Lest it ignite this delicate balance,
I must confront you, ask you to leave
Because this moment is too precious to miss.

I like it here, this new start
For the blood of the past
No longer colours my present.
A fresh paint adorns the walls.

I like it here, this new day
For there is a new sun, a new breeze
The dreams of the future rest in peace
While the present dances to a new tune.

I like it here, this strange place
Because it evokes no feeling,
Neither intense love nor brooding hatred,
It feels like a new canvas; a new life.

The relentless sea on my land
Washing every trace of change.
Every mound I had built,
Systematically obliterated.

I return to that primeval state,
Where nothing exists, nothing will.
Where things remain the same,
Where change is unheard of.

I return to that nothingness,
My partner of ages before.
the fuel to the fire of my life,
This emptiness I now return to.

Every mountain isn't yours to climb,
Every emotion not yours to be felt,
Every dream not yours to be lived,
Every love not yours to be enjoyed.

This little world of yours, my friend
That is all you take from this here.
The paraphernalia you will leave behind,
Maybe for another weary traveller to rejoice.

These moist eyes will soon dry up,
This melancholy song will cease too.
This love will die an uninteresting death,
The embers will burn bright before fading away.

I can't try to be someone I ain't.

Well, I most certainly can try

But it will lead me nowhere.

Defeat and sadness, perhaps?

But what do I do when I hate

What I have come to be?

What when these feet don't rise

To walk the miles left before me.

What when I just wish I could

Make amends in the past I lived,

But I just do not have energy

To go back and live it again.

Well, at least I now know,

What brings me a smile.

Maybe the future holds a new

Treasure that'll free my soul.