I want to cry, to feel the numb pain.
Want to feel the tears, be human again.
Want to hate everything about my life,
So that the joy of living I can regain.

I want to fail, land back where I started.
Want to be hurt, bruised; struggle my way.
Want to feel success as a distant pipe dream,
So that with the humility of failure I stay.

I want to love, to be disappointed again.
Want to be blind, to make a person my life.
Want to crash when that illusion is broken,
So that I can ignore the world's endless strife.

Perhaps somewhere in the darkness of night,
Maybe among the radiant beams of light.
I search, fire in eyes, for that part of my soul.
The part that was lost in pursuit of this goal.

I walk from home to home, shelter to shelter
Searching for the warmth that I now miss.
But like a perennially unfulfilled traveler
This water doesn't quench my thirst, my soul.

In these dark routes joining my moments,
I look backward, and into the future.
But for as far as my eyes can go, can see
There is the fallout of what I've come to be.